Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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