omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
