Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
