Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
