what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
His nipple licking is glorious
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
