You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize