I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
