i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
