I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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