So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
