brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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