there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
