He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
