Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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