DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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