It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
