I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
