Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize