u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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