If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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