went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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