Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
