I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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