Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
