i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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