U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
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