I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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