I think I just saw someone hide a body.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize