so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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