i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
