god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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