That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
