The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
