I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I wear drunk well.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
