now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
