Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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