nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
