sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
