No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
