my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
