i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
