this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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