told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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