The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
