When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
The uberlube is also flammable
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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