What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
