smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize