Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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