Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
