He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
