it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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