He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
