This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Someone shattered a urinal.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize