What did we do last night that was yellow?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
