Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
