We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
