Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
